There is Only Today

When I drew the red panda, I remembered when I drew a guinea pig and wrote “You look beautiful today” on the drawing, and hung it up in the kitchen. One of my roommates remarked that it should’ve just said “You look beautiful.”

So what is wrong with “today”? Does it imply that were not beautiful yesterday or you won’t be beautiful tomorrow?

Well, no. Back then, I didn’t think too much on it, but it’s been something that’s resurfaced with a vengeance.

I’ve encountered my first toxic workplaces since I got back from Italy. While my marriage is going very well, my jobs really took a toll on me. I didn’t really learn how to cope with it, and I’m becoming more convinced that I really don’t have the resilient personality for it. It’s not like school where you can put in the work, wait it out, and graduate, you’re stuck there until you can find a new job- which can take weeks, months, or even years- with no guarantee that new job will be any better than the one you’re trying to leave.

But, that’s adult life. It really sucks. It’s even worse when you’re too depressed, exhausted, or unmotivated to change and you’re really not sure if you’re just making up excuses for not changing your situation due to being scared the changes will be even worse than what’s happening now, or if that’s your just body trying to give itself a break so that it can recharge.

This is why lately, the words “You look beautiful today” accompanied by a cute animal is more important than ever.

You can’t go back and change yesterday. I suppose you could learn from the mistakes you made, but it’s not always easy. It can feel like you’re being set up to fail again and again and you’re not always sure what you could have done to fix it, but what happened yesterday is done. If you can reconcile things from your own actions today, you should do that. If you said something hurtful to someone yesterday, you should apologize today.

But, yesterday doesn’t exist anymore. You’ll only go crazy from dwelling on what happened yesterday.

You can’t worry about tomorrow either. Tomorrow doesn’t exist either. You can’t worry about things that will happen tomorrow outside your control-which is also why you shouldn’t put off things tomorrow that can happen today.

When life seems like it’s nothing but one trial after another, the only things that you are in control of is yourself in the moment. Until things get better, it’s better to take things one day at a time, and take joy in those little accomplishments.

There is no yesterday, or tomorrow.

There is only today.

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